James and the Giant Peach (1996)
These photos are a year or so apart. It might not look like much to you, but to me, it means a world of difference.
In the photo on the left, from July 2, 2013, I’m having a great time in Germany, but on the inside, I’m a unconfident, frumpy, and depressed person who hid her problems by eating an entire package of Oreos.

In the photo on the left, June 12, 2014, I’m standing next to the man of my dreams, the love of my life. I’m thirty pounds lighter, and a hell of a lot happier with my life.
Since June, I’ve dropped another ten pounds. Although I still have a good thirty-five to forty pounds to go, I know my body has changed, both to myself and everyone else. I feel good, and that’s all that matters to me.
Excuse me while I rant

I finally did it, you guys. I finally deleted my fucking racist conservative activist aunt and uncle off of Facebook, and hopefully out of my life. It took several years to do it, but it was the only effect of one of their typical posts to send me over the edge. One of their white Christian supremacist “friends” posted a picture of an innocent Muslim women in full face-covering hijab sitting on a bench in an Idaho Falls mall, minding her own business. To this post, they commented on how they thought she was hiding something under her hijab, or that they didn’t really know if it was woman. For all they knew, it could have been a man ready to cause a disturbance. The one garment used to preserve a woman’s modesty in the presence of men is looked as a cover-up for possible weapons. I had enough looking at it, because it was becoming personal when they made a mention grouping every Muslim as a part of Sunni Jihadists. A very dear friend of mine was brought to the United States from Kurdistan with her brother and sister when she was a child to escape persecution. She wears a hijab, even if rather loose, to maintain the modesty of the religion she whole-hearted believes in, nothing more than that. Instead of causing an argument with my aunt and uncle, knowing they ultimately wouldn’t give a shit about how I felt, or how I felt personally offended by their actions, I just decided to delete them.

I can’t take it anymore. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs, but there comes a point when it becomes personally offending to those around you, and that’s not okay. I want nothing to do with them anymore. I don’t want a phone call, a card on my birthday or Christmas, nothing. If they want to go be so engrossed in such a hateful political lifestyle and not care about their family, so be it. I’m just tired of it and I’m just done.

“Yours is the light by which my spirit’s born: yours is the darkness of my soul’s return –you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars..” — e.e. cummings

If I can be mushy for a moment, I just want to say how lucky I feel, how lucky I’ve felt since this time last year. People can say whatever they want about online dating, but I wouldn’t have met Matt any other way. Sure, I could’ve run into him in town, but talking to him for a few weeks prior to actually meeting him for drinks helped me get to know things about him that he might not have been comfortable enough to tell me otherwise. I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that includes the people you meet. Every single day, I wake up and see that smiling face looking back at me and I can’t help but think about how loved I am. I think this is the only real love I’ve ever known, and I’m entirely okay with it. I found found the man that loves me more than the whole world, and the feeling is so very well reciprocated. I know I joke around with him about my ring size, but I know he’s thinking about it all too because he never changes the subject. I look at him and see the most amazing future by his side. He makes me the happiest I’ve ever been and that’s all I could ever ask for. So, here we are, a little over a year down, and I can only hope for infinite years to come. I love you with all of my heart.


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